I feel so much affection and admiration for the chumps who share their stories here. Doesn’t matter, because I know I stand a far better chance now than I ever did with an abusive cheater. I know I have a long way to go before I have my own home and land and community, and this sometimes overwhelms me with rage, regret, hopelessness, panic or sadness. Doors are opening (always were, I just never walked through) and I’m starting to feel safe enough to set goals and make plans – something that felt, and was, impossible when I was in an abusive relationship. Fortunately, I was starting from almost zero but not in debt. I got nothing because we weren’t married (that’s another story) and I was incredibly naive.Īfter seven months in my new life and a few months 100% NC, and even with a modest salary and paying for a new car and all expenses from a single salary, I am so much more secure and am making slow but steady gains – financially and professionally. Now he’s sitting pretty and, fifteen years later, I’m somehow worse off than I was when we met. I was looking to purchase land when I was 25 and met my ex. I’ve always been independent and hardworking, and I live simply and am happy to I’m also educated and open-minded and highly employable. I didn’t look out for my own best interests. Life was always precarious thanks to his dramas, and I blindly accommodated like a chump. I spent so much of my money and time on him and his family and property, and I passed up countless opportunities. I don’t think my ex was spending money on the OWs – too cheap and self absorbed for that. It enabled me to pay for a kick ass lawyer and save a lot of money in that year.Īlso, i am I guess one of the lucky ones, as I got to know he got his just deserts early on in his “marriage” as did she. So I was able to recoup a lot of the money he had stolen from me, though likely not near all of it. I could have gotten three years, but after a year I was done with it, and I hated staying in that marriage house. (he had to pay my house payment, my car payment and the heating bill). Luckily my judge didn’t like lying ass police officers. I am thinking when they got married her life style dropped quite a bit, since I wasn’t contributing anymore, and he certainly didn’t have to keep gifting her to keep the pussy flowing and her mouth shut.īecause of those records I was able to get a little over a year of full maintenance, in a no fault 50/50 state. Who knows how much of the cash withdrawals went to her, likely most of them. And that was likely just the tip of the iceberg. He hid a lot of his spending in those, telling me that the properties would pay off in a few years but was sucking up a lot of money now.Īfter the asshole left I pulled a couple years of credit card history and bam, there it was. We had several investment properties that he was renting out. Yet, there was never any money for anything I wanted. My job provided good inexpensive insurance for the times. He was making about 45 thousand a year, (back in those days, that wasn’t bad) I was working full time and making just above minimum wage. Your turn chumps! I’m sure you’ve got material. YMBAC if… you book all your marriage counseling sessions… and pay for them. If your children don’t really look anything like you… YMBAC. and his gift to you is a tie-dyed license plate cover? YMBAC. If your cheater has three cars, three motorcycles, four kayaks, and more boxes coming from eBay each day…. YMBAC if… you received a tie-dyed license plate cover for Christmas… and that was the best present. YMBAC if… you actually sort of believed he was sleeping in his car in Vermont in January. YMBAC if… you’ve bought the entire infidelity oeuvre on Amazon and underlined passages for your cheater, only to find them unread. You might be a chump (YMBAC) if … instead of a happy marriage you have 80 perfectly tended rose bushes. What are the signs?Įver wonder what quirks are particular to chumps? In the vein of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be a Redneck If “… tell me how you might be a chump. Time for another rousing round of You Might Be a Chump If… !
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